PERSONAL NOTE

Well in March I completed another year around the sun. I want to thank everybody for all the cards and birthday wishes, they all brought a smile to my face.  This one was a big one (not telling you if you don't already know) yet inside I feel like I'm 23 so I still have a lot ahead of me.  I look forward to sharing some of that time with you.

ARTICLE

Five Surprising Sources of Stress

by Jan Cerasaro 

It’s no news bulletin that stress is at an all-time high in the world right now.  COVID, injustice, violence, and politics are certainly among some of the top things people are dealing with that create stress.  However, it might surprise you to learn that a lot of stress is created internally by some of the issues listed below.   

  1. Worry—When you worry you are not in the present moment.  You are creating negative and sometimes scary pictures of something in the future.  When you get caught up worrying about something, stop and look at your desk, your phone, your computer, your office, etc.  When you focus on these things you bring yourself back to the present moment, which is the only time that is real.  Then when you start to think of that future event or issue, imagine a positive, successful outcome instead of a negative and scary one.
  2. Unrealistic Expectations—Your life will never be problem-free, there will always be things coming up that need to get solved or fixed.  If you can let go of wanting it to be problem-free you can greatly lower your stress.  Many of the issues will be completely out of your control.  You create a lot of your own stress by your perception of the issue, mentally labeling it good or bad.  I'm not suggesting that removing those labels is always easy but it will help you find solutions to what comes up.  If you make a mistake, look for solutions and admit the error.  In most cases, you will be forgiven, and it’s also important to forgive yourself. Remind yourself that Poop Happens, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on. 
  3. Need to be perfect—Always strive to be your best. You will notice I said to be your best I didn’t say be perfect.  I know there are a lot of you that want to give perfect customer service, be the perfect spouse, mom, dad, etc.  Give it up…no one is perfect.  So, when you can’t reach that unreasonable standard you have set, I know that you may want to blame yourself.  Please understand that by trying to be perfect you are setting yourself up for a lot of additional stress and I don’t know anybody that needs any more stress, do you?  I have yet to meet the perfect person in anything and I don’t believe that anyone expects you to be perfect either.  However, there is no reason to think that you can’t strive to always do your best at whatever you are doing.  So, lower the bar just one notch to be your best instead of perfect.  Your customers, family, and friends will be just fine with that. 
  4. Beating Yourself Up—You are your own best friend, and you can be your own worst enemy. It’s easy to be really hard on yourself trying to be Superman or Wonder woman all the time.  Superman and Wonder woman are fictional characters so there is no way you could ever be like them.  The reality is you have a lot to offer and are probably doing the very best you can, so cut yourself some slack.  Focus on your strengths and what you are doing well.  If you reacted to something in a way that maybe wasn’t desirable, forgive yourself and move on.  Remember to talk to yourself like you would your best friend.  I doubt that you would be as mean to them as you can be to yourself because if you were you would lose a lot of friends.
  5. Always Hurrying—When you are always in a hurry this can be caused by several different things. It might be too much caffeine, too many deadlines imposed by yourself or others, or maybe you are just a Type A+ personality.  Yes, I did say Type A+ (you know who you are).  When you rush through things it greatly increases the chances for errors and adds to your stress dramatically.   Anytime you catch yourself rushing, stop and take a deep breath, then walk or talk just a little slower.  Know that you can work at a fast but steady pace and you’ll still be able to accomplish a lot.  Remember there is a difference between working fast or being frantic. 

COOL RESOURCE

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's all small stuff by Dr. Richard Carlson.  This is a fabulous little book with lots of brief tips on how to avoid being stuck in things that don't really matter.  It is as relevant today as it was in 1997 when it was first published.  If you want to check it out this is the Amazon link (I don't receive any money from Amazon) the link is solely for your convenience.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Series): Carlson, Richard: 9780786881857: Amazon.com: Books

 

UPCOMING EVENTS

Well, the webinar on the 17th was fabulous!  Some things are in the works with the California Escrow Association and the Arizona State Escrow Association so watch for those announcements in future issues.

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Please let me know if there are particular items you would like me to cover in upcoming newsletters.  Just email me at jancerasaro@yccbe.com

Stay safe, healthy and happy!

Coach Jan  
Jan Cerasaro
Jan Cerasaro Coaching