Wow, it's hard to believe that we are in the last month of the year. 2021 has been busy for me and it seems to have gone by quickly. I have met and worked with a lot of amazing people. I will be going on a short trip to Las Vegas next week to attend 2 concerts and really looking forward to seeing these people perform. Since Molly (my parrot) and I are a solo act here in San Diego the holidays are quieter than for those of you with large families. Christmas is still a very special time just on a slightly smaller scale than some. My Java with Jan may be a little different this month for reasons that become apparent in each issue.
Have an absolutely wonderful and safe holiday season no matter how you celebrate!!!
Take the Stressed/Thriving Family Test
Stress is a natural and normal “by-product” of every family’s life. In fact, family stress can bring out the best of us: as we stretch to meet the challenges we face, we become better parents, our children blossom and our families grow. But too much stress can spiral our families in the other direction. Take this Stressed/Thriving test to see how your family fares. Please circle True (T) or False (F) next to each question.
T or F 1. There is a lot of bickering in our house. Someone is always angry at someone else.
T or F 2. There’s never enough time to sit down together, either to talk or to eat. There’s always too much to do.
T or F 3. My spouse and I argue a lot about how to raise the children.
T or F 4. It’s like pulling teeth to get the kids to help around the house.
T or F 5. Our family has experienced a lot of significant change recently (divorce, death, blending family, job loss, illness, other trauma).
T or F 6. Money is very tight. My partner and I have constant conflicts about how to spend it.
T or F 7. My child has been having behavioral problems at school.
T or F 8. The children get upset when they hear us arguing.
T or F 9. I work too much, and it’s really getting to me.
T or F 10. We don’t really talk about hard issues; we just try to hold our breath, wait and let them go away.
T or F 1. We acknowledge feelings, encourage their expression and allow time for dealing with the issues these feelings raise.
T or F 2. We plan time for family activities. And we eat together at least once every day.
T or F 3. If a blended family, we maintain and nurture original parent-child relationships and let new relationships develop in their own time.
T or F 4. I feel confident in my role as a parent.
T or F 5. Our family easily maintains a sense of humor and playfulness.
T or F 6. Family priorities take precedence over my work.
T or F 7. I know what’s important to my kids.
T or F 8. When issues arise that we get stuck on, we ask for help from other family members, support groups, community-based programs, clergy and/or a coach.
T or F 9. We have enough money for the important things.
T or F 10. Everyone in the family has responsibilities around the house and does them without being nagged.
If you answered true more often in the first part than in the second part, you may want to seek help lowering the stress level of your family. Families that communicate about problems, who face issues as they arise, who support one another and seek help when it is needed, can build strong bonds among themselves, nurture a healthy and loving family and have a lot more fun doing it!
“It didn’t matter how big our house was; it mattered that there was love in it.” — Peter Buffett
While many of the escrow associations are dark in December and Conference season is over this month will be easier on my schedule.
December 16th I'm doing another Stress Tips session for the San Gabriel Valley Escrow Association. I've been with them for 5 months now and feel like a member.
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Stay safe, healthy and happy!